Dating In The Middle-Ages

WEEKENDS ARE FOR WARRIORS

2010-08-12T10:24:00.000-07:00

If I was like my Kitty, who's life is eating, drinking, pooping, sleeping, and more sleeping, I'd wouldn't care about the weekends so much. Every day would just kind of roll into the next. Maybe I'd eat more one day, sleep more the next, vomit up a hair ball for excitement, etc.

But when you're single after a long relationship ends weekends can be looked upon with dread - starting from Friday Evening and working clear through Sunday after sunset.

My girlfriends who have been single for a long while say I'm a sissy. Like them I need to get my "Nija on" and learn to enjoy the weekends like a warrior - keeping extremely busy so I have no time to think. They say weekends are a time to get together with friends, family, do fun things, etc., but again, it's hard when those "get togethers" always included a partner.

So I've decided to come up with plan (at least for the next few months) to keep myself very busy on those days to turn them from the "dreaded three" into the "blissful triad."

Here's a list of a few activities that could keep me busy
(Warning what follows can go from serious to completely absurd in 0 point 5 seconds)

Become a docent at the neighborhood museum on weekends. (Okay so I'm not 70, but I love art and could meet a creative guy, right. Although this works for during the day mostly)
Help out at the public library (again works for during the day...)
Finish my great American Novel
People watch at the nearest mall
Movie marathon weekend
Movie marathon weekend with girlfriends
Movie marathon weekend at the theater (could take care of Friday night and Saturday night, but can be expensive)
Get a job working Friday and Saturday nights (What? I must be losing it!)
Enroll in a weekend class - maybe learn to cook Greek food or make Sushi?
I could take up Fencing or the Tango? There has to be a Saturday Class somewhere...
Or an online decorating course?
Work out so hard Friday Night that it takes most of Saturday to recover (that would leave only Sunday if I haven't pulled something)
Sleep all weekend like my cat.

Hurray for me! The new weekend Warrior!
(Uh, I think I need a little help...suggestions from all of you would be greatly appreciated!)

ARE YOU CRAZY? I DON'T PAY FOR THAT!

2010-07-26T14:10:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm sad to report that my ninety minute interview with Miss Matchmaker was a crock of "you know what." I mean this girl didn't shut up trying to sell me on the service. Actually if she just took a breath once in a while and asked me what I liked instead of trying to sell me on what she thought I should go after, maybe I would of signed up, NOT!

Who in their right mind pays $5000 for a match making service!!! I wanna gag! And the guys she showed me in her books, OMG, know wonder they have to pay her!

Mr. Right...uh, Wrong!

Anyway, it was a waste of time, but afterward I did find a nice blouse for $4.99 at my real boyfriend's, "Ross"('s). :)

P.S. Btw, still signed up for speed date night in August...stay tuned.

MATCHMAKER, MATCHMAKER...

2010-07-14T14:12:00.000-07:00

...(singing) make me a match. Find me a find. Catch me a catch...

Oye! "Catch me a catch"  what is he a flopping fish?  

Anyway I am going to see a Matchmaker service this weekend. This is so "out there" for me, but hey, I'm open to new things. So, it's a 90 minute interview and the person on the phone said they supply the kleenex. Huh? Uh, oh, sounds worse than getting a tooth pulled. But again, I'm a good sport, and the place is near the shopping mall so afterward when they've reduced me to a crying puddle on the floor, I'll go visit my real boyfriend, "Ross." He'll make it up to me with a new purse, shoes or maybe both. ;)

SPEED DATING ROAD BUMPS?

2010-07-08T09:14:00.000-07:00

Okay so I'm new to the online dating scene, so I thought I'd start small and try out a speed dating website.  They have events at restaurants once a month, locally.  Safe, right?  In a crowded place with other people around...  

And, the service wants you fill out a profile online and post a photo (which I did) so that guys that who are interested could e-mail you, get to know you, before the event.  But the problem is, they are from all over the U.S. (just in case you feel like paying money to fly somewhere to meet a stranger who is kinda wacko. Not!)  

So I'd thought I'd share some responses I got already - I have changed the names to protect the (not so) innocent here.

This guy can barely speak English. 

Miami83ESL - you beautiful.  I like what see.  Me in Miami, but will marry you no problem.  We get married, yes?  Please reply for me. I wait for you.

This guy talks about himself in the plural sense. 

FrodofredNY - Hi Pretty.  The world is a lonely place and we need affections met.  We wish you would contact us so we could meet the girl of our dreams.  Let's get to know each other better.  Time is too short on this planet and we are destined to be with you.

And of course my favorite:

U&Me69 -  Let's just skip through all this and hookup.  I got a big one and the babes love me.  Please reply. 

Reply?  Man I'm runnin for the hills. Now I'm scared to death of this place. Are these guys for real? Thank God they're not local.  Which makes me wonder about the local guys???

Maybe I should cancel the event?  What do you think?

btw, here is photo I posted of me... 

GETTING NAKED AGAIN

2010-06-11T13:27:00.000-07:00

I really wish I could take credit for that title...isn't it great? Actually it's the name of a book I'm reading right now about getting back out there on the dating scene after leaving a marriage (or being left from a marriage) after many years, or after becoming a widow.
And I must say I find the info quite helpful...
Okay, so I'm not ready to do it, but I might be next week (or most likely next year). And honestly after being married for fifteen years and suddenly single, I'm a little terrified of showing my middle-aged (albeit fit) body to anyone. Right now can't imagine it. But this book is showing me that it is possible, when I'm ready. Jeeze, I'm just trying to find out who I really am after putting someone else's needs first for so many years. Anyway, I'm enjoying the book and thought others might too.
Love and laughs,
Samantha

KEN (OF KEN AND BARBIE) TALKS DATING!

2010-06-08T09:14:00.000-07:00

Ken of (Ken and Barbie) talks dating
I especially love the hair...
And...I think I've already met a few of these guys. (the hair was removable too, eeek!)

Please tell me if you think he's on to something here. ;)

2010-06-06T17:16:00.000-07:00

So it is hot as Satan's finger tips today in L.A...

Not that I'm complaining, but when you go from 60F to 100F in point 24 hours with no transitional weather in between it kind of puts everyone into a weird kind of funk, and people wander around asking, "How did we get from there to here so fast, and do I put the winter clothes away finally, or give it another week?" kind of conundrum. Even Shakespeare (my cat) and Marlowe (my dog) can't decide if they should sleep on the warm comfy blanket in their cat/doggy beds or cool cotton sheets on mine.

And when it's hot EVERYONE is out! That's right. If you think the freeways are bad on a regular day out here, just try getting through on a nice day - when everyone, including their mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, niece, nephew, and extended family of any kind feels the need to get on the road and DO SOMETHING for the halibut! fogetoboutit!

I do love sunny days, but not the ones where you literally get singed and you can smell skin burning when you're outside for more than fifteen minutes. But hey all in all, I love L.A. and besides there are waaaaay more pressing issues then me burning up here.

BP Oil Spill anyone???

REMEMBERING THOSE WHO "SERVED" ON MEMORIAL DAY

2010-05-31T14:14:00.000-07:00

So I know this is a day to remember those who served in the armed forces, but what about those who 'SERVED" period? I mean as the survivor of a recent separation from a marriage of fifteen years I served o' plenty. I served food to the mother-in-law, the brother-in-law and his family, the spouse's friends, and last but definitely not least the lord of the manor, himself. (...more about that coming up in future posts.)

And call me crazy but as happy as I am to be on my own, today I am melancholy for, what else, "serving." You see at my house the holidays were always special. Coming from a dysfunctional childhood where there were no holidays, I always tried to compensate for the little girl in me who missed out on all of them, and Memorial Day was no exception.

And since I loved to cook, I would start the morning by whipping up a big batch of my sweet and tangy barbecue beans, and put them in the oven to simmer for at lease four hours till the consistency was just right.
The chicken was already marinating from the night before and around noon I'd start molding the zesty and onion-y raw hamburgers into perfect rounds to be B&q-ed later.. The sweet and creamy coleslaw was next, (love you T.J. Marzetti,)and finally I would end by decorating the area where the buffet would be.

Friends and family would bring deserts and we'd sit down in the late afternoon and enjoy a feast. And I would think, "You know, I am really enjoying these people. They aren't half bad." And just about then my nephew-in-law slinked in smelling like cigarettes with his "pierced" body and his deadbeat girlfriend asking where the the food was, and my fleeting thought was ruined!

What do you love and/or hate about Memorial Holiday???
HAVE A WONDERFUL MEMORIAL DAY!

FIVE WORST THINGS TO SAY TO YOUR (MALE) DATE

2010-02-27T10:53:00.000-08:00

1.  Your hands look really small.

2.  Is that your real hair?

3.  You might want to wipe the shine from the top your head.

4.  What kind of car do you drive?

5.  How much money do you make?

What are the five worse things you can think of???

http://bit.ly/aI4TWH

COUPONS ON THE FIRST DATE???

2010-02-23T13:41:00.000-08:00

So I understand that we're in hard economic times, but when you first take a guy out, or they take you out, I'm a firm believer of letting them know they're worth your time and money.  And when you, me or the guy/gal pulls out a coupon to pay for dinner - well, it says, not so much.

Ouch!

I say if the dating goes well, pull it out after the third or fourth date?

Just my opinion. What do you think?
They feel the same way!

THE BIRD MAN

2010-02-16T09:54:00.000-08:00

Well this is what I did...like I said before I'm new at all the stuff.  And he was nice looking, not really my type but hey he bought "Eat Pray Love," so he's the sensitive type, right?

So I invited him to sit down.  We talked for a little bit.  He seemed inhibited and intimidated - which is weird since I never thought of myself as intimidating.  Turns out he was a bird watcher.  That's right, a bird watcher!  As much as I love birds I have never had an interest in standing around (or crawling around) to watch them.  But as he talked on, and on, it turns out its a very social thing.  Who knew?   

Bird watching in California is big.

Anyway, he seemed nice so when he asked me for my number, I gave it.

btw, I know this looks like a cute little finchy bird, but this is a Bullock's Oriole 

Should I go out with the bird man if he calls?
To Be Continued...

READ, DRINK, LEAVE?

2010-02-15T13:42:00.000-08:00

Okay, so being out of the loop of dating for a while, I kind of forgot some of the rules. Sometimes I am so happy to be on my own that I talk to everyone about everything. And recently this got me into a bit of a situation. I was at a book store and saw a guy reading "Eat Pray Love," which is one of my all time favorite reads.

I made a comment in passing to the guy about how I loved reading the book and he should get it. He said, "Really?" as I passed and I nodded, went to the cashier, paid for my magazines, and moved into the connecting coffee shop. After I'd settled in and had my coffee in front of me, the guy comes over and shows me that he bought the book and asked if he could sit down. What would you have said/done?

Oops gotta run, I'll finish soon...

SWEETS FOR THE SWEET

2010-02-10T14:37:00.000-08:00

So the grocery store by my house is now stocking my favorite cup cake in their bakery on a daily basis.  I could kill them and kiss them at the same time for this.

 Red Velvet cupcakes are my favorite in the whole-wide world.  

What's your favorite??? 

THE MAN OF MY DREAMS

2010-02-09T10:32:00.000-08:00

They don't make em like this anymore.

SEX AFTER MARRIAGE???

2010-02-09T09:23:00.000-08:00

Recently, I read this article in More Magazine about sex after divorce, and realized how terrified I am about ever having to do this again.

I was married for fifteen years, and though I still have a libido, I can't imagine giving it up to just anyone. Yes I am older and my body has changed, but more than that I just am truly terrified of getting intimate with someone else at this point in my life and being dumped by them.

I love to date, but it seams after two or three with the same guy they are ready for a roll in the hay. So far I haven't been.   I've only been separated for a few months. Maybe I'm being to hard on myself. What do you think?

http://www.more.com/2039/11603-sex-after-divorce

WIDGETS, TWITTER AND BLOGS, OH MY!

2010-02-05T15:56:00.000-08:00

I sat down to the computer at 10 a.m. and it's now 3:36 p.m.  It's insane how obsessed I am with it right now.  Between scoping out new widgets, twitter backgrounds, and website templates for online social media stuff it's a wonder I ever get anything done.  

And I'm obsessed with blogs.  I love researching them and reading them.  Better than reading a book or watching TV sometimes.  

But hey, I guess if you're gonna have an addiction web surfing is better than drinking, smoking or drugs.  And cheaper by far...

BAGGAGE HOLDING

2010-02-04T12:22:00.000-08:00

So I'm wondering where we all should go to find our own Mr. Middle-Aged Right?? The problem is, though I think most men look better as they age, they all come with some sort of baggage - as do most women. I guess the thing is, how do you know how much baggage is too much baggage? I mean, Kids and ex's are a given at this stage of most of our lives, but when is it too much?

DATING WARDROBE MUST HAVES!

2010-01-26T21:15:00.000-08:00

Dating attire for a woman in her 40's is a little different than that of girl in her 20's.  

That said here are my picks for the top five dating wardrobe pieces:

1.  A pair of great fitting jeans.

I'm talking designer here, ladies.  And you know the ones.  We all have a favorite pair that fits us just right.  And if you don't have them, it's time to invest!  This is one piece of clothing that will last season after season.

2.  A Sexy Little Black Skirt.

Mine is a pencil skirt that fits right above the knees.  It can be more casual with a tight fitting sweater or more formal with a chemise and jacket, but it is a must for your closet.

3. A flirty Chemise.  Okay I'm a fanatic about these.  I have them in many colors from plain silk to sequined, but if you can only afford one, winter white in a clingy fabric is best.

4. A Tailored Jacket. I don't know if you're seeing a pattern, but everything listed here can be worn in different ways. The cute little tailored jacket is mandatory...for skirts or jeans.

5.  The Clingy Sweater

This is a fun piece that when worn with a large necklace, can take center stage.  Again it works with the jeans as it does with the skirt.

You can't go wrong with any of these and you'll look hot on your next date if you wear any one of them. These are my picks but I'd love to hear what yours are.

MILLIIONAIRE MATCHMAKER - WHAT A CROCK!

2010-01-20T10:35:00.000-08:00

I watched this show last night called, Millionaire Match Maker or something like that and I was appalled at how tacky the match maker woman and her motley crew looked.  I mean tattoos, mohawk hair dos and people dressing waaaay toooo young for who they are, Patti!!!  Jeeze you're over 40! (or 40 - whatever!)  You're not 16 Honey.  You can't pull off those looks anymore.  

No wonder the millionaires that come on her show don't trust her judgment. And, it really didn't look like she knew what she was doing either. No wonder the dates didn't work out. What a crappy show! Won't be watching that again!!!

WHAT ARE SOME FUN IDEAS FOR A FIRST DATE?

2010-01-19T13:37:00.000-08:00

What's a fun date?
Check the link for suggestions
http://bit.ly/82dXpF

Do you agree with him?

If so, tell me why and if not tell me why.

THE COLD THAT WOULDN'T LEAVE

2010-01-16T11:45:00.000-08:00

So from stomach flu to head cold.  Really getting rediculous now.  I feel like I can't walk outside for fear of picking up some new and unknown virus.  What's a girl to do?  Does anyone have any suggestions for making a cold go away quicker???  Would love to hear it.  oxox (cough, cough)

This website tells you how to know a cold from the flu.  Good info...   

http://bit.ly/8lNj8o

LOVE THIS, LOVE THIS, LOVE THIS!

2010-01-13T23:57:00.001-08:00

I'm feeling much better thanks to this...

http://www.raincitystory.com/flash/screenclean.swf

copy and Enjoy!

STARTING OVER...

2010-01-13T23:32:00.000-08:00

Is not fun and I'm not good at it.  Whether it's saying good bye to a fair weathered friend or telling someone you really like that you're not ready for that kind of relationship.  Either way you loose something and have to be Okay with that.  But, what you're gaining is setting boundaries for yourself and in the process defining what self respect really is. And that's a good thing.  

UH-OH, NOT AGAIN...

2010-01-11T09:23:00.000-08:00

I know, I know...I shouldn't have gone on this blind date but it was from a reliable source so I thought, "What the hey!"

I have never felt so interrogated in my life! Everything I said this guy argued with. Not a great way to try and get to know someone, not to mention get on someone's good side. And he was kind of smug, you know, like what he said was the only thing that mattered.

Now, my poor friends who set me up were there too (thank God!) playing referee most of he night and buffering this guy's questions/inquisition towards me. But I'm a big girl and did relatively well. That is until I decided I didn't want to "Play" anymore.

I left after an hour or so, and you know what? The guy actually called me the next day telling me how cute I was and how he wanted to take me out. Uh, No!! Don't think so. Mr. Interrogator can go batter someone else, thank you very much!

Any thoughts, girls?

KNOW THYSELF???

2010-01-09T09:41:00.000-08:00

So a new year and a new life! It's funny but I'm so not in a hurry to rush into anything with anyone. For the first time in years I am going to get to know myself. Yeah, scary...

What do you do to get to know yourself? Do you know yourself? Do any of us really know ourselves? For so many years my likes were based on someone Else's "likings" that I wonder what I really do like. Okay I'm confusing you, I know, but really what do I like and what makes me happy? I will ponder this question and get back to you. In the meantime feel free to comment. :)

THE SPA THAT NEVER WAS...

2010-01-08T11:20:00.000-08:00

Well I had a great time with my ex but it turns out I got Food Poisoning the very next day so the spa weekend is all a blur amongst the vomit, nausea, body aches, etc.  As a matter of fact I've been down for the last five days, just now climbing out from under the rock. This year, "Out With The Old" took on a whole new meaning let me tell ya!

NEW YEAR'S EVE

2009-12-31T17:08:00.000-08:00

So I'm supposed to go to a party tonight with my brother Michael, but it doesn't start till 9. That's about right for a New Year's Party but when you're normally in bed by 11 p.m. it's actually kind of late. And what's more, the last 15 years I spent with my husband (who as you know I recently separated from) so who knows who I'll be kissin at midnight (besides my brother) - again if I'm even still up at that hour. Plus, isn't New Year's Eve somewhat over-rated? I mean what's the big deal with a new year starting? Many of us are so glad the last one's over! Well, okay, there ya go...that's cause for celebration. Anyway...HAPPY NEW YEAR'S to all of you! I hope your 2010 is full of wonderful surprises, fun events and love, love, love, in the Middle-Ages.

TAKE MY MOTHER, PLEASE!

2009-12-30T11:00:00.000-08:00

I am so ready to get into 2010. What a year! My Mom called this morning...she doesn't know I separated from my husband yet. And I'm not sure I should tell her. She's (kind of) negative. And, she just might gloat over it. Kind of sick that way...but as some people get older they tend to get happier at other peoples miseries. Come to think of it she always got pleasure from other peoples misfortunes. Ah, what a great model to grow up with. Not!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING NEW YEARS DAY

2009-12-29T21:38:00.001-08:00

So, thank you to Jane and Hillery for your posts.  And I'm going!  I'mgetting a deep tissue massage and a deluxe facial.  Just get me throughall these holidays.  But girls please know I'm really enjoying beingsingle.  And I've already signed up for some "single" event through myyoga studio.  A spiritual man who is in to taking care of his mind andbody could be nice...and I don't believe all the good ones are gone asin married or dead.  I am signing up for as many events in 2010 aspossible.  That's right.  You heard it here...one of my New Year'sresolutions...

DATING IN THE MIDDLE AGES RULE #2

2009-12-29T21:30:00.001-08:00

Dec. 12th-

Turnsout "James the doctor" was a Proctologist! And to make matters worseall he talked about was colon, rectum and anus disorders.

We didn't make it to dinner, no surprise. When he was still talking about hemorrhoids the size of califlower lumps after an hour into our date, I decided it was time to go.

But he did manage to ask me one question before Iescaped. Had I ever had a Colonoscopy?

Dating in the Middle Ages Rule #2

NEVER, EVER, GO ON A DATE WITH SOMEONE RECOMMENDED BY A FRIEND OF A FRIEND OF A FRIEND!

DR. WHO???

2009-12-29T21:28:00.001-08:00

Dec. 5th-

Recentlya friend of a friend of a friend (don't even try to figure it out) saidthey had a doctor they wanted me to meet. In other words, a blinddate. They said the doctor was middle aged, divorced and verysuccessful in his field. The friend of a friend of a friend supposedlywas a reliable source. I asked what kind of a doctor he was and shedidn't really know, but said he was head in his field. Fine. So we'llcall the doctor "James" to protect his anonymity. I told the friend ofa friend of a friend (I know!) to have James call me. Well, Jamesdidn't call. He began texting me. That was kind of irksome. Now I askyou, what's wrong with calling someone to get to know them? Look I'mall for modern technology but how informal can you be? But he textednicely so, after several of those, I have decided to meet him fordinner at a trendy French Restaurant.

DATING IN THE MIDDLE AGES RULE #1

2009-12-29T21:24:00.001-08:00

Nov. 6th-

Yes,it's official. I'm an Idiot! And all of you were right!  Now I rememberwhy I left my ex-boyfriend in the first place. Besides staring at everyfemale that came through the door of the restaurant and flirting withthe bartender, he was constantly texting.  It was a nightmare. I am soglad I drove my own car. Which leads me to:   
Dating in the Middle-Ages  Rule #1.

ALWAYS DRIVE YOUR OWN VEHICLE ON THE FIRST DATE.

THE "X" FACTOR

2009-12-29T21:22:00.000-08:00

Nov. 2nd-

Anex-boyfriend found out I am now separated - from me changing my statuson Plaxo. He e-mailed me. I can see some of you shaking your heads atthis already, but, hey, we dated sixteen years ago and people change,right? Well I'm hoping so because I accepted to meet him for drinks andappetizers Thursday night. Today is Monday...

THE GIANT BOOB CATASTROPHE!

2009-12-29T21:20:00.001-08:00

Oct. 18th—

Shootme now! I went out with my girlfriend last night. What a nightmare!What was I thinking??? My first night out as single and I went out withMiss Jugs U.S.A! And did I mention she is ten years younger?? I nevershould have let her talk me into going out, but when you just separatefrom someone you're vulnerable. And the sleeze-bags she attracted,Oye-veh! Needless to say they stared at her breasts the whole time theytalked to her. I was pretty much invisible. Which, it turns out, wasfine...

Butwhen after a couple drinks she got on the bar and started doing a striptease to “Let Me Entertain You,” I knew I was in big trouble. Let'sjust say the Bathroom Attendant and I became great friends.

ALL BY MYSELF

2009-12-29T21:19:00.000-08:00

Oct. 14th—
Mybrother, Michael, and my two best friends C.C. and Lisa helped meunpack. They were actually talking about having to take turns"covering" me for the first few weekends so I wouldn't be alone. Gimmea break! I’m a big girl. Besides, I already have a girlfriend date toa new swanky restaurant this weekend. Lots to catch up on. Staytuned!!!